Going Under
by InfinityxInfinity95
Summary: What will it take for him to stop his affair? His family? His job? Illness? Death...?


**So this is my second story. Same characters as the first. I know, I have no imagination.**

**This story does stand alone, although the theme and characters are very similar.**

**I would appreciate feedback, thanks. ****  
>So... here we go, my second story, using no imagination at all. <strong>

**The song is 'Going Under' by Evanescence**

**Love Clare xx **

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><p><em>Now I will tell you what I've done for you<em>  
><em>Fifty thousand tears I've cried<em>  
><em>Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you<em>  
><em>And you still won't hear me, going under<em>

_Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself_  
><em>Maybe I'll wake up for once<em>  
><em>Not tormented daily, defeated by you<em>  
><em>Just when I thought, I reached the bottom<em>

_I'm dying again, I'm going under_  
><em>Drowning in you, I'm falling forever<em>  
><em>I've got to break through, I'm going under<em>

_Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies_  
><em>So I don't know what's real and what's not<em>  
><em>So I don't know what's real and what's not<em>  
><em>Always confusing the thoughts in my head<em>

_So I can't trust myself anymore_  
><em>I'm dying again, I'm going under<em>  
><em>Drowning in you, I'm falling forever<em>  
><em>I've got to break through, I'm<em>

_So go on and scream_  
><em>Scream at me, I'm so far away<em>  
><em>I won't be broken again<em>  
><em>I've got to breathe, I can't keep going under<em>

_I'm dying again, I'm going under_  
><em>Drowning in you, I'm falling forever<em>  
><em>I've got to break through, I'm going under<em>  
><em>Going under, I'm going under<em>

"Mail Esme"

Esme frowned and took the envelope from her husband's grip, placing it on the side. Ignoring him and the letter she turned the stereo off and carried on plaiting her daughter's hair.

"Momma, what letter say?" Rose giggled, trying to get hold of the envelope.

"Nothing, princess. Go show daddy your new dress..."

Carrying the squirming three year old to the other room, she placed her on Carlisle's lap, taking the remote out his hand, switching the channel to a Disney show. She walked over to her twin baby boys and kissed both their heads.

Esme noticed Carlisle's glare in her direction and she smirked at him, walking back to the kitchen. The letter lay on the side still and she took a deep breath, already knowing what it said.

She walked up the stairs to the bathroom and began running a bath. After pouring some scented bath oils into the tub she opened the letter.

_- Dear Mrs Cullen-  
>-We have your test results and we would like you to make an<br>appointment to see your consultant as soon as possible.-_

She didn't read the rest of the letter; instead she crumpled the letter into a ball and threw it into the bath, where it sat on top of the bubbles, not getting wet. She took her time getting undressed before a loud cry broke her out of her trance like state. Wrapping her robe tightly around herself and made her way downstairs.

Edward was crying incessantly when she got downstairs, and it took Esme a few minutes to get her to calm. She sat with Rose, Edward on her lap, and Emmett nestled into her side. Leaving them all sat together for a moment, she got up to look for Carlisle, who had seemingly disappeared.

She was outside the kitchen when she heard his voice. She wondered who he was talking to and realised he was on the phone.

"Alice baby... I'm sorry. Esme won't get off my case..." Esme frowned and gripped the doorframe, leaning closer to hear but far enough away where he wouldn't look up and see her. She didn't hear what the woman said but she heard Carlisle's reply and it hurt like hell.

"I love you too baby... I'll come around tonight.. Wear that present I got you last week..."

Gasping for a breath, Esme's world came crashing down around her. Of course, how could she be so stupid, of course he was having an affair. The meetings, the secret phone calls, disappearing for hours at a time. She took another deep breath and ran upstairs.

Getting back into the bath, Esme tried to relax, shaking after what she had just heard. She lay down in the bath, immersing herself in the bubbles. She stayed underwater for as long as she could before coming up for air, going under again.

She was dreaming when she heard banging downstairs, and sighed, thinking Carlisle was trying to do DIY again. The banging got louder and faster and she heard her name being called.

"ESME! ESME!" It was Carlisle, he sounded mad. "Get your ass outta that bath and sort out your kids!"

She pulled herself out of the bath, wrapped her robe around herself, pulled the plug and slammed open the door.

"WHY? So you can go screw Alice?" She screamed at him. He looked at the ground, his face ashen.

"How do you know about her? Have you been listening to my conversations?"

Esme watched him, praying he'd have the decency to lie, instead he questioned her. Looking at him, mad at her, for having a bath, she broke down. Her knees went weak and she collapsed on the floor, against the radiator, crying.

The bath gurgled, as it did when it finished emptying all the time. Esme remembered back to when she and Carlisle had moved in together, and he had teased her about the bath monster incessantly. Probably thinking the same, Carlisle looked over at the bath, and saw the rolled up ball of paper, Esme had yet to remove.

He moved from the door to grab it and she made her run for it before he could question her about her. She sat on the rug in front of the fire, reading Rose a story, rocking the twins in their carriers. It was a few minutes before she heard movement upstairs and she looked up to see Carlisle storming down the stairs.

"What the hell is this?"Carlisle didn't sound mad, he sounded worried. Esme ignored him and continued to read. "Answer Me!"

Rose stood on her wobbly legs and toddled forward, her hands on her hips, a pose she had learnt from her mother.

"Don't shout at momma! She done nothing!" She glared at her father and took Esme's hand, falling onto her backside as she lost her balance.

Carlisle knelt beside Esme and shoved the letter in front of her face. She looked away from him and pulled Rose on her lap.

"Esme.. Sweetheart, are you ill?" She still wouldn't look at him but she reached for his hand and squeezed it tight, wiping away her tears before they fell. He watched her for a second before reaching for Rose. He took her, then the twins up to their rooms and returned to Esme's side. When he got back downstairs, he realised she had not moved.

"Esme... Esme I'm sorry... I'll fix it I promise... I'll do whatever you want... just tell me you're ok..."

She looked up at him again and wiped the tears that had managed to escape.

"If you hadn't seen that letter you would be on your way to sleep with Alice right now, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you?"

He shook his head and she frowned, fixing him with a glare before turning away from him.

"No... Alice... she was.. She was a mistake... She came onto me... Esme.. I love you. You are my wife, the mother of my children. Alice.. She meant nothing.. I'll fix it.. I promise..."

He watched her as she stood up, walking towards the sofa. He got up and sat next to her, moving closer every time she edged away. He grabbed her hand and she pulled away in disgust.

"End it. Right now. I'm letting you stay for my kids. Not for you. I swear, if you fuck around again, your ass will be out on that street faster than you can say 'I love you'. You're so damn lucky those kids are young enough that they don't understand, and that they still need you."

Carlisle nodded and tried to hug his wife. She pulled away from him yet again and handed him the phone.

"I've not forgiven you, but I know we'll be needing you. Please don't mess up again. For all our sakes."

He nodded and took the phone from her, dialling Alice's number right away which made her frown. How long had this been going on for him to remember her number, he was usually useless with things like that.

"Alice..? Yes, it's Carlisle. I can't come around tonight. Or any night for that matter. Even if I could I wouldn't..." He paused as he listened to her reply and she sighed, already tired of waiting. "My wife and family need me."

Esme heard the raised voice on the other end as Carlisle continued. "Whatever messed up little thing we had.. Well, it's over. It should never have started... I can't do this to her anymore. I shouldn't have done it to begin with."

He hung up the phone without giving her a chance to reply.

"Is that ok?" He watched her carefully and she nodded, burying her face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her again, smiling lightly as she didn't pull away. He kissed her head and took a deep breath.

"Esme baby... tell me what's wrong... please?" She shook her head and looked down at her fingers, starting to pick her fading nail polish off.

"I don't know what's wrong... the letter said I need to talk to my consultant... Will you come with me?" She looked up at him, her head still on his chest.

"Of course, name the date, time and place and I'm all yours..." She smiled a little in acceptance and stood up from the sofa.

"I gotta go check on my babies." She walked off upstairs and he pulled out his phone to delete Alice's number. He sighed as a message from her popped up. He opened it, thinking it would be a stupid 'take-me-back' text. When he read it he gasped.

_-You can't just leave. We need to talk. I'm pregnant.-_

Deleting the text, he threw his phone across the room and walked upstairs to join Esme, saying goodnight to the girls.

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><p><strong>So, what did you think? Please read and review. Is it worthy of a second chapter? Message me your thoughts and let me know.<strong>

**Thanks, Love Clare xxx**


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